This isn’t your average New Year’s Eve post… Sure, most people take stock of the year, what went well, or not so well, and turn them into resolutions for the next year…that they probably won’t even keep…
But sitting here tonight, I find myself desperately looking back over the year and wondering what God is trying to do in my life…
Because just last night, driving home with my sister after going to the movies, I told her how frustrated I feel with my whole leg situation…
It’s been 4 months…
4 months since I found out that my ankle is basically deteriorating…
4 months of waiting on God to heal me…
4 months of waiting for the doctors to tell me more than just “well, we don’t really know what to do”…
4 months of being told that I don’t have enough faith…
4 months of being told to “suck it up.”
And after complaining to her, she asked me “Well, what do you think God is trying to do through this situation?”
And I kind of just disregarded her question, because honestly, I just wanted to vent last night…
Fast forward to this afternoon: My knee on the opposite leg is sprained and they want to send me for an MRI in a week, and told me I should stay off my feet for a while, because obviously I already have the other leg to worry about.
This is not ok.
I do not have the time, nor the patience for this to be happening right now.
So now I’m asking:
God, what am I missing? Who are you trying to be for me in this moment? What are you trying to tell me? I promise, I’m listening!
Stop getting caught up in the busy work of life, and just sit with Me.
I literally can’t do anything but sit right now, God.
So, a little less Martha, a little more Mary?
I don’t know how to do that…
That’s why I’ve had to go to extreme measures…
…The Shepherd sometimes has to break a wandering lamb’s leg in order to teach it to stay close…
Now do you see?
Did You have to be so literal?
Did you have to be so stubborn?
Here’s to 2015… a year that’s starting with me stopping… and listening… and learning… and Trusting The Shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord